Happy Holidays!

It's the third day of my christmas break and I haven't been doing anything much exciting. LAMEEE

I. have. not. left. my. room. for. the. three. whole. days. Hell, I've been on my bed for 80% of the time in front of the window and I haven't missed a single sunrise or sunset. Usually, people have to make time to experience them. 

There's literally nothing to do. Had plans to clean my room on Day 1 of the break so I can study and catch up with my courseworks but nope. Ended up being such a potato on my bed and now my room looks like a storage room. Don't cook caus can't be bothered to get my ass out of bed for long so I order food. I watch Korean dramas. I watch the previous X Factor seasons and cry over emotional auditions. I watch Running Man and laugh my ass off.  Laziness is taking over me. Most of my friends travelled. Boyfriend went back home today. My sister went back home too so I can't go to Manchester either. Ugh I know I shouldn't be complaining because I was the one who chose not to go back to Burma. What am I missing out on? -Good Food. -Family. -My baby sister. -BestFriends. -Cheaper Shopping. -Beach. -Good Weather. -And more. and more. and more..

As much as I want and need them in my life so terribly right now, I also don't regret not going back home. Caus If I did, oooo there's 120383% of me failing my first year and that is something I would hate to go through. Why do Uk universities choose to have exams only after Christmas breaks? Like.. how inconsiderate..? Why not have our half term finals before the break and be done with it so we can actually enjoy the holidays. lol Obviously I bet no one's even really studying right now but really, it's bothersome how we have to remind ourselves to study for exams in the new year. Remember how I mentioned there's nothing to do during the break above? I take it back. There's plenty to do. Courseworks and revisions that I've been slacking off on for the entire semester. I have so many lab reports and essays to turn in by tomorrow because uni's gonna close for the break anytime soon. But what am I doing now..? Blogging Instead of writing them. Blogging Instead of cleaning my room. There's no way of me studying in this state of my room. It is terrible. It is so full with clothes and stuff everywhere on my floor that there's barely space to walk and it causes me to rot on my bed with my laptop all the time. 

I just need to get my ass out of my room. I need to stop being a potato. But how..?

Where to start.? I'm the lazy one. I'm never the neat and organised one and when I make plans I never really get on them I just make plans thats it. I'm not the one with daily routines. There's never in betweens for me. If I have work, I either concentrate on it too much, give time and do my best or I don't start at all. It's good in a way yea caus when you really start putting yourself into it, you come up with the best but that. is. very. rare. for. me. and It's bad caus I'm the one with loss in the end. Had I have the notes for revision and a clean room right now , who knows.. maybe I might actually be studying. Giving my all to it. But no, because all I've been doing in the first semester were sleeping, slacking, eating at midnights, watching dramas or chilling the entire night and not turning up for classes just because I overslept, or caus I was too lazy to walk in this weather. Regrets. How ridiculous does this sound. Okay Now that I'm actually writing this down, I'm kind of shitting my pants for the exams. 

Motivation. Assurance. It's all I need right now. Have you ever gone through the stage in life where you have to stop and think if what you're doing right now is actually what you want for a long time? I want to know if Engineering is my thing. It may not be what I want entirely.. but then I also kind of fancy seeing myself as a structural engineer in years. A female Burmese structural engineer. But I'm just not sure if I'm qualified for it. Is it entirely about imagining myself as a successful woman in years? Or is it because in foundation year I got better grades in physics and maths than in other subjects? Thinking back, I always preferred Chemistry to physics and numbers. I was more of an emotive drawer than a person to draw structures or perspectives or geometric drawings. I doodled. I wasn't the one to usually draw lines and circles properly. My friends stated they never once imagined me becoming an engineer. But then... the only way to find out is to actually start putting my all into this and see if this is what I want, where I fit. Let's just say I don't turn out to be interested in this as much as I assumed I would be, but I still have to pass. I would hate to fail. I've seen my friends failing uni and having to go back home because their visa got cancelled. I wouldn't want that. In the UK, you are not allowed to repeat the year. If you fail, You fail. that's it end of story. No one saves your ass. Yes possibly, you can go study in another country but I would find it embarrassing. Especially in the Burmese society. I don't want to let my parents down this way. I don't want to be such lazy trash. I. need. to. pass.

I really did not expect this post to get this serious lol I'm writing too much, it's annoying I know. I just wanted to write a short post about how my holidays are going and to wish my readers Happy Christmas but got a little carried away hehe sorry. Anyways..

:::::2015 is arriving in 10 days and I'm actually looking forward to gaining more experiences and creating more memories with friends and my relationship. *Inserts Smiley face* I hope all of yous have a merry merry christmas! If you can't be with your loved ones this year, you are not alone. We just need to be thankful for them, be reminded of why we have them and wish them happiness through the net on this special day. And I genuinely wish you all a Happy New Year. May all my readers contain strength to overcome the negativities and previous failures to face more success and joy!:::::

Also, have you thought of your new year's resolutions list yet? Now that I actually got a little dramatic over my uni life and became all concerned, I think I now kind of have an idea of what to put on my list. "Be more organised, Pay more attention to uni, less slacking" 

There, there. If you know me, go ahead and say *what a load of bs* 
Obviously, I'm the last person to do all this and probably won't stick to it but hey, a little plan and attempt won't hurt nobody yes?

Image source: http://www.twobigladies.co.uk/real-life/5-best-christmas-markets-uk/

 Merry Christmas from Northern Ireland! :)