Over the year, 2013.
One sad thing I've learned about people over the year due to many many things that I came across is that, people can change so easily. Maybe they don't change entirely but they can change what they do for you and what they think about you so easily. I always try not to get too attached when someone does something nice for me, because obviously once you get attached to the good moments, you keep hoping for more and expectations fail you at the end. Some people are selfish. But that's not a bad thing. In fact, I want good people to be selfish these days. When I said selfish, I meant in a way where you think the best for yourself to make yourself happy and successful WITHOUT having to HURT other people along the way, you know. Don't give a shit about what anyone says or thinks about you. (Yes I have insecurities and I still care a little too much about how they judge me sometimes, but I'm trying my best to ignore them and I'm getting there)
I used to care about what other people think of me so much. And other people as in not the ones I don't really know but the people I really care about. At nights I would think about what I did today, who I talked to and then I would go onto how I talked to them. I'd be like "Did I do this right with them?" "Did I reply nicely?" "Oh shit, what if he/she thinks I meant it the other way?" and I swear, it. was. frustrating. At some nights I would end up thinking about little things, blame myself for stupid mistakes and get pissed off at some people instead of sleeping. How ridiculous does that sound?
Once I had like huge ass exams in June this year and it really stressed me out. Pretty much made myself study all the time during days and bothered myself with crazy thoughts during nights. I stopped talking much to people than before and focused straight on my studies, which of course affected my social life a lot. And the thing was, nobody did that to me. I was doing it to myself. I was also too prideful in some wrong ways and it caused me to start pushing myself away from a lot of people and put me at a distance from them. Like I learned so much about them from afar, from another point of view since there wasn't much interaction between me and them and trust me, most of them surprised me. Some people looked like they were the bad ones but turned out to be the real good ones and some supposedly good ones, they were full of flaws. I find flaws as imperfections that define human beings and imperfections are supposed to be beautiful in a way but most of the people have flaws that make them such terrible persons.
I've also come across some people who care about you yes, but at times only run to you when they are in need and then ignore you when during their happy moments. Then there are people with complains who see the bad in everything that you do and choose to neglect the effort you put out. I saw the world as a good place before, for I was such a brainless careless immature kid and it shocked me so much to learn so many things about a lot of people around me over the year. I took everything as a big thing and that hurts me. I guess I was too dumb.
It's the last day of 2013 today, and I've been reflecting on the experiences; half good, half bad, I've gained this year. I've learned several lessons and the obvious main was to value the good people in life. I've learned to follow my instincts by trusting myself a little more than I usually do and not to depend on other people because sadly most people change and leave at some point. I've learned not to let insecurities and other people weigh me down. I've learned to avoid people who judge, who assume things based on all the stories they were told. I need to start handling things on my own. I need to start appreciating the environment and the good people surrounding me. I need to start appreciating myself. And that is how I'm gonna prepare myself for college next year.
2k13 was a worthy year overall. It was the year I found precious people, the year I learned to differentiate the good and bad. And I have to say, I'm thankful for for every moment. It was the best year yet, but I'm having a feeling that 2k14 is gonna be even a better year.
Break a leg, Two Thousand Fourteen.
I used to care about what other people think of me so much. And other people as in not the ones I don't really know but the people I really care about. At nights I would think about what I did today, who I talked to and then I would go onto how I talked to them. I'd be like "Did I do this right with them?" "Did I reply nicely?" "Oh shit, what if he/she thinks I meant it the other way?" and I swear, it. was. frustrating. At some nights I would end up thinking about little things, blame myself for stupid mistakes and get pissed off at some people instead of sleeping. How ridiculous does that sound?
Once I had like huge ass exams in June this year and it really stressed me out. Pretty much made myself study all the time during days and bothered myself with crazy thoughts during nights. I stopped talking much to people than before and focused straight on my studies, which of course affected my social life a lot. And the thing was, nobody did that to me. I was doing it to myself. I was also too prideful in some wrong ways and it caused me to start pushing myself away from a lot of people and put me at a distance from them. Like I learned so much about them from afar, from another point of view since there wasn't much interaction between me and them and trust me, most of them surprised me. Some people looked like they were the bad ones but turned out to be the real good ones and some supposedly good ones, they were full of flaws. I find flaws as imperfections that define human beings and imperfections are supposed to be beautiful in a way but most of the people have flaws that make them such terrible persons.
I've also come across some people who care about you yes, but at times only run to you when they are in need and then ignore you when during their happy moments. Then there are people with complains who see the bad in everything that you do and choose to neglect the effort you put out. I saw the world as a good place before, for I was such a brainless careless immature kid and it shocked me so much to learn so many things about a lot of people around me over the year. I took everything as a big thing and that hurts me. I guess I was too dumb.
It's the last day of 2013 today, and I've been reflecting on the experiences; half good, half bad, I've gained this year. I've learned several lessons and the obvious main was to value the good people in life. I've learned to follow my instincts by trusting myself a little more than I usually do and not to depend on other people because sadly most people change and leave at some point. I've learned not to let insecurities and other people weigh me down. I've learned to avoid people who judge, who assume things based on all the stories they were told. I need to start handling things on my own. I need to start appreciating the environment and the good people surrounding me. I need to start appreciating myself. And that is how I'm gonna prepare myself for college next year.
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| A little something I came across on my Tumblr dashboard today. You see the line "Life isn't about pleasing everybody"? That's exactly what this post was about. |
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2k13 was a worthy year overall. It was the year I found precious people, the year I learned to differentiate the good and bad. And I have to say, I'm thankful for for every moment. It was the best year yet, but I'm having a feeling that 2k14 is gonna be even a better year.
Break a leg, Two Thousand Fourteen.
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